…or just burn the fucker down.
I went home… I slept in my bed… alone. And I thought it felt awful, tense and stressfull. I was trapped in there and I hated it and I knew I wouldn’t be able to do it again… but then I came back again anyway just because I really did want to devote myself to us… and I woke you up and asked you to sleep in the bed with me… just to be there, not for anything other than the sake of being spouses. And it was good and sweet. And I wanted it to go on… but then it just all went flying out the window.
Too Much Fertilizer burns out the soil completely. I’m burnt.
Nothing is growing here in this garden and the root of that one weed last week disrupted soil all over the entire garden, dropping the ornamental shrubs one at a time leaving just destruction and waste in it’s path. Damn those weeds and that cheap store bought fertilizer. Never again…
I hate how quickly the sticker bush weeds grow. One minute you get a small fragile self twining vine with soft hair like coverings and the beginnings of a bloom… and the next minute it’s a full blown stinky, prickly, seeded and self fertilizing plant.
I rip it from the soil, pulling it out, roots and all. It stubbornly hangs on as ferociously as it can, and then gives way. Just like my sprit and faith… willful but giving way every time.
To one of my gardeners, thank you for the air mattress, the comforter, the wine. Thank you for listening, empathizing, offering suggestons… thank you for the house keys. You may never know how much that means to me… But God does. And so do I.
And to the gardener who helps me plant the pretties- thanks for being my “family”… my “person”! I couldn’t do this without you.
Posted by mynameisdionne 
